2006-04-24 | 12:26 p.m.
Username & Diary title: (1/10) Cheerqueen - It isn't very creative. You're probably a cheerleader. I see no other explanation for this name. Boring & too cliché. - The time of crying, cheating, and loving is all in a notebook in our hearts - It's too ... "wordy" to be a title, in my opinion. Upon viewing your layout, I presume it's a reference or quote from the movie. Unoriginal, bland, & kind of hard to understand.
First Impression: (15/20) A nicely designed layout for the movie The Notebook. Though, the links are a funky mess down the sidebar & that disgusting blue name acronym thing MUST go.
Layout: (35/50) Kiwi Design. I am not a big fan of movie, celebrity, or band layouts, & this one is no different. However, I will not deduct points for bad taste.
There is a splash of color (blue & brown) on the image that I feel could have been played up a bit more in the layout. Everything is textbook black & white, with pale grey links when I hover over them. It looks bland & colorless. It could definitely use some sprucin' up. You seem to be an outgoing, vibrant young lady. Why such a monotone design?
The name acronym is UGLY. Get rid of that immediately. If you must have it around, add it as an extra, through an entry.
Content: (15/55) This was the first entry I read & I was not very pleased. It's a 'paragraph' about ... excessively many things. Most of it doesn't make sense or is ruined by sentences like this: "I learned that words do hurt, but if you turn them around...and learn that they don't any better. You also used the term 'nigga' at the end, which I find completely derogatory to yourself. Do not do that.
Your grammar is 'iffy' & you use a lot of slang - ppl, b/w, lol. I think you have a tendency to write how you would speak, which would be fine if you spoke like a college professor. Since you don't, some things come across a bit odd. Example - "It was the worst thing for some reason...I know why. I just love him that's all...and last nite...well, nuff said..." It's merely a confusing string of thoughts.
I found tons of lyrics as I went further back into your diary. That would be fine with me if they had their own page, or were separated entirely from the entries, but I usually had to read an entry & then discover lyrics beneath it. Lyrics are fine as long as they are organized & don't disrupt the flow of your diary.
You talk a lot about Ced. You never explain much, though. Just vague details here & there. If I, as a reader, knew more about the situation(s) between you two, I might be more interested in hearing what you had to say about him. I usually skimmed over the little entries about him, which didn't leave me much to read. Your entries vary in length, but they're typically no more than 2-3 paragraphs, or a few sentences. Sometimes you talk about an event, but it's mostly just 'Ced this, Ced that', or a rant about something that upset you. I found your diary to be rather repetitive & simply the immature babblings of a young girl deeply confused about her relationship. Stop worrying about Ced, it would ease your mind, & if nothing else, probably improve your writing.
Contact: (1/5) Notes. You have an email link, but it simply sends me to your diaryland name (no points).
Extras: (2 .5/10) Fans. Little ol' Me. Loves. Hates. If the acronym was on an extras page, I would count that, but since it's an eyesore on the main page - no points.
Am I Linked?: (0/5) I am not.
Favorite Entries: (0/X) None.
5 Words to Describe You: Insecure. Obsessed. Religious/Spiritual. Drama Queen. Unable to be satisfied.
Memorable Quotes:
I'm suppose to be Mrs. Walls, supportive wife of a basketball star, and I don't get it.
You are NOT married. No matter how you've tricked your little mind into believing this farce. You mentioned several times about being married & wanting to be married. Have you mentioned that to Ced? Did it freak him out? Obviously, he doesn't feel the same way & even though you love him, you shouldn't take things so seriously. Nevertheless, if he doesn't want to marry you now - when your love is fresh & young - what makes you think he would want to later?
Your new name: Ebony. Purely because you are the reigning Miss Ebony '05. Congrats!
Your lyrics: The Fray - Over My Head (Cable car)
And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you & its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselvesEveryone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind
Personal Advice: Try a temporary separation from Ced if you guys really have as many problems as it seems. It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship & that's not good for anybody.
Comments: A new layout might do you justice. Try something more suited to your entry size, though. Get rid of the name acronym.
Would I Come Back: (5/20) I doubt it.
[Reviewed by: Mandy]